eternal loop
by Kuddlecake3
Summary: Reborn again and again I was trapped in a loop trying to find the reason for my continued loop in an anime I hadn't watched in years. I couldn't make a difference as when I try I die and am restarted again farther along. I won't quit though, even as I die again I reach my hand out hoping to help at least one soul seeing as I can't even save my own. OC-insert. Slow start.
1. The beginning

Hi! This has been an idea in my head for a while and I wanted to put it down into words for a fanfic and I hope you all like it!

As you know and have heard a lot I do not own Naruto or it's characters. I do own my girl though.

Let me know if I made any mistakes and enjoy!

* * *

The first time I was reborn it was a shock. I was a small baby who hardly had any motor function and had all the time in the world to stew on my situation. One I was in a baby's body which was full of unending boredom. I couldn't do shit accept scream and roll to the left and right. Two, They were not speaking English, if I could recall my vast knowledge of what languages sounded like, this one sounded very Asian. Which language was not something I could recall at all, I was going to guess Chinese or Japanese. If I could *see* this whole thing would be so much easier as I could guess from clothing or design or something. Once again a white blob moved over me and poked my belly. This whole experience was pissing me off.

I could finally see and have deduced that I was in some kind of ancient Japanese noble household. I don't think they ran around in full kimonos anymore in Japan of my time period. The woman who I guess was my mother was in a full noblewoman kimono. I also discovered the really weird appearance my whole family has. The first time I thought they were a ghost from all of the white they had. White hair, gray eyes, and their skin was an almost deathly shade of white. This whole thing was completely unnatural. Like some kind of anime but I was here and this wasn't a tv show and this is stupid and I hate this and fuck these useless pudgy hands!

I was not a baby in this weird Japanese world full of ghost looking people. I was a 21-year-old woman from LA in Cali. and had a girlfriend and was happy and yeah sure it was a bit of a shitty time but why did I die? How did I die? Why the fuck couldn't I move or do anything? I had a completely normal family and now I was apparently a part of some weird ass poltergeist looking family.

Once I was old enough to keep my head up by myself my new mother had me attached to her hip constantly. She never went anywhere without me and I was okay with that. It gave me a chance to view my brand new world and get outside for the first time in this life. Still couldn't move my own body too well and crawling takes up way too much energy but being carried makes things easier and lets me be happily lazy as my mom toted me around.

After one of the ladies who would watch over me deemed my health to be strong enough to go outside my mother would take me on walks with her. Gathering me into a bundle that she held gently in the many layers of her kimono and she stepped out into the wide and very bright world. It was just a village where every once in a while you would see some stalls peddle food or other small items. Small children would weave in between the adults milling the whole marketplace. The only thing off was the fact that everyone was the same as my family. Everyone had stark white hair and was paler than the moon itself. It threw me off a bit as I could never really recall ever seeing anyone like this in my world. I knew they existed but not in this number. This was a god damned commune of ghost people.

I also noticed something off about their reactions to my mother. Every once in a while people would glance at my mother and whisper. Some would even attempt to catch a glance of me tucked away in her kimono jacket as she made her way to a small garden tucked in the corner of our little village place. It was interesting to realize that we were something important here. There were many other mothers walking around with their children but something about my mother and I made people glance and try to see better. It was probably why mother seeks this place out. The house was also clambering with my brothers and the servants and the town had people constantly staring.

Here it was quiet, mom could just sit and spend time with me without someone running into the room shouting about one mess or another. Even I had to admit it was nice. It was a nicely kept small garden at the very edge of the village, the walls that encompassed this entire town sealing us away from the rest of the world. I could see the tops of trees beyond the walls as my mother sat on a rock and sat me on her knees giving me a chance to just take in the scenery.

"So peaceful isn't it Tomie. Those people are so nosey but they never come here. Too close to the wall for them." I'm pretty sure that even though she said my name I was very sure she was talking to herself. So I just gurgled a bit to humor her I reached up and grabbed one of her long locks of hair and gave it a good hard yank. She jumped and looked down at me as I put the strands into my mouth giving her a very gummy smile. She stared for a moment before smiling and pressing her forehead to mine, closing her eyes. "Ah Tomie, you make me so happy. It's so nice to have a girl around finally. Maybe your father won't snatch you away from me for training. I don't want another child to be turned into a warrior." Staring at her for a moment I just let go of her hair and snuggled into her chest. I wonder what was happening to my brothers.

Looking at my appearance I realized something. The ghost look must have been a family trait. I too had the pale skin and white hair, just like my mother and father and my eyes were a dull gray which no matter what I tried looked extremely dead. We looked like ghosts. I looked up at my mother who was calmly brushing my hair, humming to herself. "Mama?" She paused and looked at me with surprise. The look quickly passed and she turned back to brushing my hair.

"Yes, dear?

"Why do we look like…..this?"

"It's a family trait. We all have it, the whole clan. Our connection to death is...interesting and the story is our ancestor's interaction with it is the reason we look like ghosts." I scanned my face again before pouting a bit.  
"I want red hair." My new mother laughed a bit before tying a ribbon into my hair, a white ribbon. *Great* more white with my white kimono, white hair, and white skin I might just disappear in the winter.

"And I bet you'd look lovely with red hair but you look the cutest with white in my opinion. She wrapped her arms around my tiny form and I practically disappeared into her kimono sleeves. She really was gorgeous. Despite her ghost-like appearance, her hair was tied in a long braid shone in any light, she was almost ethereal. "Look at you Tomie, getting so big, aren't you dear."

"Yes, mama." She drew back and patted me on the back with a soft smile. I wonder if I'd get as pretty as her.

"Why don't you go find your brothers, if you're still interested in the story of the clan you should ask them." I nod and stand up giving her a quick bow and scurried out of the room and down the halls leaving mother to take care of her own hair without me in the way.

I wandered around the long hallways following the sounds of shouts and laughter which I knew came from my brother. I picked up my pace and came across our large courtyard and my four older brothers. Well what they called sparring, at some point, it devolved into them just rolling around in the dirt and yanking each others hair. The oldest, Goromie paused in his hair pulling to look up and me as I peeked out behind a nearby wall. His face brightened and he practically threw my other brother away. Who landed in the nearby pond.

Goro was 12 years old the oldest of the bunch and was already going through extreme training with father so this wrestling he was doing was probably just for fun. I think….*I hope*. Just like the rest of us he had white hair which he kept out of his face in a loose ponytail. Compared to the others who acted much calmer he was vibrant and active. Jumping every which way and always yelling about something.

Thinking over this whole thing I didn't even notice him moving towards me until I was in his arms and being swung around like a ragdoll. "CHIBI-CHAN~ Oh! Look at how cute you are~" He started spinning me around rambling about how adorable I was before I was pulled from his arms and placed on the ground by a very wet Yoromie who also looked very pissed.

"Goro." An evil look passed across his face "The hell do you think you're doing."

"Yoro~ Isn't Tomie the cutest? Look at her cute little kimono~" Goro reaches for me again but gets launched away from me with a swift punch from Yoro

"BACK OFF YOU PERVERT!"

"WHO YOU CALLING A PERVERT ASSHOLE!"

"NO SWEARING IN FRONT OF TOMIE ASSHOLE!" Watching them wrestling on the ground cussing each I let out a sigh and wandered over to my other two brothers who have stopped their own wrestling to watch the exciting fight going on.

"Motomie, mom said you'd tell me the clan's story." Motomie was a smaller boy and the second youngest of the bunch. He wasn't very strong to the disappointment of father but he was extremely book smart. Adjusting his glasses he looked down at me and nodded.

"Of course, come here I think I can explain it well enough." I sat down on the ground next to him and leaned on him ready to listen. "Yureshi has strange ties to death and some believe the story of how our ancestor made a deal with the shinigami itself. Our oldest ancestor Kotomie was dying after a long battle which he did not win but instead of going with the shinigami he cut him a deal. He'd gather the souls of those around him and the shinigami would take them instead of him. Basically two souls to the replace his own life to survive. The reaper couldn't truly bring him back and he was trapped between life and death. Not truly alive but not at all dead and that curse transferred to the rest of us as well. We are dead but not quite, somewhere in between. That is the explanation people like for our ability to phase through objects. That we are ghosts just passing through this world not really existing with the other people at the same time. It's why we keep ourselves cut off from the world for the most part" I stare at him a moment and tilt my head.

"Why didn't he just go with the shinigami?" Motomie stared at me for a second before shrugging.

"I don't know it's just a story, people are afraid of death. Do you want to die Tomie?" I sat there for a moment and thought it over before shaking my head.

"No, I wouldn't be able to see you guys anymore." Moto nodded and gave my head a pat.

"That's why probably. He wanted to see his family. He didn't want to die so far from them and-oh here comes father." I look up to see the gruff clan head stop over to the two wrestling boys and slam his fists down, somehow managing to hit them both perfectly. Ah the skills of a ninja.

"What are you two idiots doing!" The pair launched themselves away from each other before pouting.

"He started it!"

"Yeah right if anyone started it, it was you dumbass." Standing up I quickly ran over to father, yanking on his pants to get his attention. He looked at me for a moment before bending down and lifting me up into his arms. I was feeling devious and wanted to have some fun.

"What are you doing out here Tomie?" I wrapped my arms around his neck giggling a bit.

"I wanted to play with my brothers! They taught me some cool words, you wanna hear?" He raised his eyebrow and nodded leaning in closer. Giving a bright smile that slowly turned into a devious smirk I whispered in his ear.

"Asshole." Even though his face didn't change a bit I could feel his muscles tensing as he froze from even breathing it seemed like.

"Hm, interesting." He put me down and gave my head a pat as he stared at the two boys who were now sweating. "Why don't you go play. I have to train these two." Seemingly out of nowhere two kunai appeared in his hands. "You two better start running, you got some laps to do."

They were off before I could blink and I could hear Goro's yelps of fear off in the distance.

"Welp, I'm off! Let's go Koto!" Moto grabbed his silent twin's arm and dragged him away and out of the courtyard leaving me alone to survey this whole place. Plopping my ass on the ground I grabbed a nearby stick to start tracing shapes into the ground. I missed my art supplies but I wasn't sure if they even had the stuff I used. I think all they had was ink and there was no way they were letting me anywhere near that stuff as a kid.

As I drew a quick cat face in the dirt giggling I pause to see a little chipmunk hop out of a bush from one of the corners in the courtyard. "Hello there, where did you come from?" It quickly ran away as I walked towards the bush looking through it to spot something interesting. In the wall was a large crack, large enough for me to crawl through easily. It looked big enough for a 12-year-old to squeeze through.

Standing up I looked around to make sure that no one was watching before I crawled through the hole looking around at the outside world finally. I was surprisingly underwhelmed if I was honest with myself. It was just lots of trees and foliage, I knew there were trees but I was also expecting people. I was hoping for someone, someone who looked like a regular person. That didn't look like us and more like the people I remember from my old world. Glancing around once more I shrugged and crawled back through the hole. I'll keep this hole hidden for later, for now, I was hungry.

It was winter of my sixth year in this new world and I was wandering around the house attempting in many ways to stay warm. This new body more than the old one got colder so much more quickly and I found myself shivering when not by a fire. Running across the freezing wood floor I found Goro's room and dived in as fast as I could letting out a tiny yelp. "Gorooooooo~"

"Chibi-chan? What's wrong." I stared at him as he was wrapped in a blanket and yanked on it lightly pouting.

"I'm cold~ Can I join you?" He stared at me for a moment before smiling brightly and opening up his blanket inviting me in. I quickly dived in attempting to get comfortable. Once we were both situated comfortably Goro returned to what he was doing before I crashed his party. Reaching out of the blanket he grabbed a thick brush, dipping it in ink and gently moving to the paper. I watched his smooth hand movements as he painted across the paper, writing something I couldn't understand gracefully. Curiously I reached out and grabbed the brush from him looking it over and reaching out quickly painting a small smiley face in the corner of the paper.

"Hey now!" Goro grabbed the brush from me and poked my nose with it leaving a black dot much to my protest. "I'm trying to practice here!"  
"Practice what?"

"Making seals. Father says I need to be well rounded in all forms of combat. I need to practice making my own seals in case I'm ever trapped too far from the compound."

"Oh...why would you be trapped?" I looked up at him after getting most the ink off my nose. When I asked that I could see the sad look on his face.

"Ninja's live a hard life, Tomie. That's why dad didn't want you to be a ninja. That's why he didn't train you." We stared at each other for a bit longer, me trying to read his eyes and him searching for something. Reaching up I grab his ears and pull his forehead down to touch mine.

"You're a strong ninja too right? Momma heals, maybe I could do that too and I can support you. I'll always be here waiting for you Goro-nii. No matter what." He froze and pulled back to look into my eyes. After a solid one minute, he gave me a smile and pulled away.

"That reminds me, I got you a gift." He picked me up and put me on the ground getting up and wandering to a little dresser looking thing and began to fish around in there. Once he found what he was looking for he stood up and held a little box out to me. "I got it when father took me out for a little mission. I saw you drawing in the dirt a lot and I thought you'd be happier with actual art supplies."

Taking the box from his hand and opened it curiously eyes widening at the sight of a paint kit. "Oh wow." Grabbing the brush from inside I looked it over in wonder. In my past life, I was very into art. Practicing all different kinds of mediums and I had figured that I wouldn't be able to get my hands on all my favorite kinds of materials. Picking up the ink I looked it over with a smile. I guess it's never too late to learn a new style. "Thanks, Goro-nii! Want me to draw you?"

"I'd love that Tomie." Just as he was distracted I grabbed his brush and drew a long dark line across his face with a giggle and his anger. "HEY!"

"Got you Goro-nii!" Grabbing his present I jumped up and bolted out the room laughing all the way. I could hear him chasing after me but I didn't care, it was nice to be so carefree at the moment.

Mother died giving birth to my younger sister when I was 10 years old. I stood outside with my brothers listening to her crying out before it all went silent and we all shifted uncomfortably. The door slides open and our father steps out looking over at me.

"Tomie, your mother wishes to speak to you." Just as he says that he grabs my arm and drags me in, not giving me a choice in the matter. He stops in front of her and I realize what was going on. My mother was shaking and looked over at me with weak eyes.

"Tomie, Tomie come here." She shakily reached her hand out which I slipped my much smaller hand into. "Take care of her, take care of Kamie." Then her hand went limp letting go of mine and falling to the ground with a light thud. Her eyes remained open and staring at me still pleading me yet so empty.

"Mama?" I reached out and placed my hand on her cheek, still warm as if she was alive. That's when a piercing cry rang out from in mother's other arm. In the little bundle was a small wrinkly baby. The baby that killed my mother. The baby mother told me to take care of.

I didn't even realize that my brothers had come in until I was lifted off the ground and held tightly in someone's arm as they stumbled away shaking. She assumed it was Goromie as the three other boys ran past to mother and cried.

"I-it's okay Tomie, we'll be okay." He muttered that to himself mostly as he clutched me to his chest, unable to tear his eyes from the now dead corpse of his mother.

"W-we'll be fine." Even as he said that I could feel a strange wetness fall from him to my kimono and I knew he was saying that more for himself then for me. Grabbing his arm I hugged it tight but even as I did that I couldn't tear my eyes away from the small bundle in my mother's cold and stiff arms. Even as she was dead it would shift around revealing a small, pudgy looking face.

That's what she wanted me to take care of. My baby sister, Our new sibling. I was the oldest girl in this household now and it was my job as the girl to take care of the baby. Part of me wanted me to be mad at the idea that even though I was still a child because I was a girl it was my job to take over the mother role. The rest of me couldn't she was a baby, a baby without a mother and mom asked me to take care of her. Even if she didn't I couldn't leave her alone, I didn't want to leave her alone. I'll take care of her. I promise to myself and to my mother.

I'll take care of her.

Maybe it was selfish of me to take my sister outside the compound with me. I stealthed my way through the thick woods with her strapped to my chest. With my father and my brothers busy with taking care of the clan and my promise to my mother I felt she was safer in my arms. There hadn't been any battles in a while anywhere near here so I assumed it was safe to at least wander a bit from the compound to gather a few plants to make my paints. I had changed into a simpler kimono, one made for wandering around a more dirty setting and tied my long hair up into a tight bun on the top of my head, using the ribbon that my mother gave me so long ago.

Sifting through the bushes I spotted something I was looking for, gorgeous purple flowers blooming from a small bush. Pulling out a small hunting knife I started clipping the flowers off the bush as gently as I could and tucking them into a small pouch under my obi.

I was so caught up and humming to myself happily that I didn't hear the sound of someone stumbling out of a bush to my side. I only noticed something was off when I looked down and saw Kamie staring at something intently.

"Kamie what's wrong?" Following her eyes, my sigh locked onto a boy who was definitely not a Yureishi. He had a dark hair cut in a bowl cut and he had a very surprised look on his face.

"AH!" I jumped up from my crouched position and pointed my knife at him as he jumped away from me pointing in surprise.

"GHOST!"

"What do you mean ghost! Do I look like a ghost to yo-" I then remembered my appearance. "I'M NOT A GHOST DAMN IT!" Waving the knife around I cursed my brothers in my mind for not wanting to teach me how to defend myself.

As I mentally complained about my brothers the boy lowered his arm and studied me a bit. "Hey wait!" I froze but wrapped an arm around Kamie, staring at him suspiciously.

"Yeah? What do you want?" He stared at me a bit more, his intense look made me more and more flustered.

"Who are you?"

"...Who are you?"

"I asked you first!"

"I asked you second!" We stared at each other for what felt like an eternity before I finally broke down. "...I'm Tomie. Now your turn." His face brightened into an almost blinding smile.

"I'm Hashirama, it's a pleasure to meet you!... What are you doing?" I stare at him a bit more feeling a twinge of familiarity at the name but attempt to brush it off. Shaking my head I turn back to the bush I crouch down and start gathering the flowers up again.

"I'm gathering flowers for paint and dyes." From the corner of my eye, I could see him nervously walk over and crouch down next to me.

"You paint?" I nod and start cutting the flowers again, gathering them into my pouch. "That's cool...how do you make paint?"

"You can't just use the flowers itself you got to grind the petals down and add boiling water. Not too much cause then the color will never come out. It's not the best but it's all I have to work with so I try to have fun."

"That's pretty cool." His eyes then went to Kamie, who was still staring at him intently. "Is that your baby?" I pause and reach down, pulling the little sling she's in to obscure her more.

"She's my sister. It's my job to take care of her." He nods and turns back to the flowers studying them for a bit.

"Do you….need any other colors?" I study him for a second feeling a bit confused. Was he going to help me or something?  
"...yeah. I would like some red flowers but I haven't been able to locate any." He nods and looks around before he leaped off with incredible speed. I scan the area where he used to be before sighing and turning back to the bush, plucking the last flower. In the middle of my stretching, I heard the sound of someone touching down softly on the grass.

Turning around there was Hashirama holding a bunch of red flowers with a bright smile. "Whaddaya think?" I walk over and pick through them before gathering them from his hands.

"...thanks." I pulled out a piece of cloth and laid it down on the ground in front of me, placing Kamie down on it to let her roll around before pulling all the flowers out of my pack and sitting down on the soft grass. I started picking the petals off the flowers putting them into colored piles, ignoring the boy as he sat down across from me, leaning his head down trying to make eye contact with me.

"Need any help?" I pause and look at him confused.

"Don't you have anywhere to be?"

"Nope!" Letting out a grunt I grabbed a bundle of blue flowers and passed them over Kamie who let out a small gurgle attempting to grab them from me. Hashirama took them with a smile and started following in my example and plucking the petals off into a pile.

"So you just bored, or do you help random people you meet in the woods all the time?"

"Nah, you just didn't seem that threatening, you also have horrible reflexes." I nodded along with that fact.

"I'm not one for combat. I just came out here for some fresh air." He nods understandingly as he reached over and poked Kamie in the stomach.

"Do you always bring your baby sister with you?"  
"I don't usually sneak out and I wasn't comfortable leaving her behind. It's been peaceful so I thought that I could…" I quickly gathered the petals into separate pouches. After stashing them all under my obi I reached down and grabbed Kamie placing her back into my sling. He stood up and bowed and I responded in kind.

"Well, then it's goodbye for now Tomie-san. Perhaps we'll see each other again."  
"Perhaps." I turn and start back towards the compound thinking about that whole incident. It was interesting meeting someone who *wasn't* an Urameshi. He didn't look anything like us. Pausing I looked up at the sky scratching my cheek with confusion. Why did Hashirama seem so familiar, I felt like I had heard about him before. Without giving it more of a thought I shrugged and moved on.

Whatever it was I could ponder it later. For now, I had to get Kamie back into the compound, she was getting hungry. Running back to the compound I slipped through the hole and ran back into the courtyard, setting Kamie up so it looked like we never left and sat with her tickling her stomach. Just as I finished my little act my father turned around the corner spotting me and Kamie and making his way over.

"There you are, Tomie. The servants were freaking out when they couldn't find you or Kamie." He crouched down next to me and gave a smile, patting my head.

"Not my fault they are practically blind! I'm not even a ninja and they couldn't find me out here." He nods and stands up gesturing for me to go with him.

"Well it doesn't matter, it's time to eat. Come along Tomie." Practically preening I picked up Kamie and quickly ran after him. I may not be a ninja but damn if I wasn't an amazing actor.


	2. An introduction

Hi, sorry for the wait but life has gotten a bit hectic with school picking up and work but I promise I'll be much more active with updates and the like! Anyways I don't own Naruto only Tomie and please enjoy!

I had no idea why I was out here back in that part of the forest where I met that kid but here I was, kicking at the dirt waiting for him to show up again. It was stupid to come back out here honestly it's not like he'd come back to this spot at all. This forest was huge, I think. He could be anywhere so I should just head back to the compound and never come out here ever again.

Even as I mentally punched myself my body stood firmly in its place not listening to my mind as it yelled to just leave. Letting out a heavy sigh I tried to wave the disappointment that was buried in the back of my mind away and pushed myself to stand up straight and got ready to walk away.

Don't know why I was so disappointed we met once and he just got me some flowers and I left. Yet I came back here without Kamie and stood here waiting for a boy that would most likely never come back. I'm a lonely idiot who-

"Tomie you came back! You came back!"

"HOLY SHIT!" My thoughts interrupted my foot flew out from underneath me and I fell backward feeling my head slam into the large and very sturdy tree that I had just been leaning on. Reeling away from the pain I tripped over my foot and started falling forward before a hand reached out and stopped my fall.

"Sorry about that. Are you okay?" Looking up I saw it was the same boy as last time, who was looking a bit worried at the moment. Pushing myself up and out of my arm I quickly grabbed a nearby branch and smacked the top of his head with it.

"Don't you know not to sneak up on a girl like that!" He obviously let me smack him cause him being a shinobi was more than obvious. He dropped into a small bow giving me a nervous smile.

"S-sorry, please forgive me!" Crossing my arms I gave him a once over and pouted a bit.

"Just this once I guess. Just never do that again! I don't like being surprised!" Uncrossing my arm I rubbed the back of my head which I knew would bruise before sighing. "I'm...surprised you showed up again. I'm, uh, glad though. It's nice to meet someone I'm not related to." Turning around to face him I'm nearly blinded by how bright his smile was.

"I'm glad! I was hoping to see you again and I guess if you were waiting here you were hoping too." He looked like a puppy with his sparkling eyes and I took a few steps back nervously.

"Y-yeah, sure, I guess." Sitting down on the ground in front of him an attempted to fix my bun nervously. I still couldn't bury the feeling that I knew him from somewhere but, tucking the loose hairs into my bun, I buried the feeling away. "Is there anything you want to do? I didn't really think that far ahead."

Sitting down in front of me he thought for a moment before clapping happily. "Did you bring your painting stuff?" Nodding in confusion I pull out a small ink container and brush out of the folds of my obi.

"Yeah, I take it with me everywhere. But what's your idea? I don't have any paper with me." He just smiled and held out his hand. Blinking for a moment I looked between his hand and his face.

"You said you liked to paint, can you do something on my hand?"

"Oh...I mean yeah but what would you like?"

"Anything you want Tomie-chan!"

"Alright, I'm drawing a dick." His hand and his entire body shot away from me the moment the words left my mouth. Looking up I found him pressed to a tree, clutching his hand to his chest.

"Not that!" Waving my brush at him I gave a cheeky smile.

"But you said I could draw anything I wanted to~"

"Anything BUT THAT! How do you know what that looks like?" I shrug and draw a swirl on my hand distracted.

"My brothers would draw them sometimes and then laugh about it. So it must be a boy thing." Touching the brush to my chin thoughtfully. "I guess I can draw a flower or somethinggg OH! I'll draw a fox! Come here!" Excitedly waving him over I scooch my knees over to him. Nervously making his way back to his original position. Gently taking his hand into my own I quickly got started on the fox. The difference in our skin tone almost made me laugh. I honestly looked like a sheet of paper compared to him.

"I really do look like a ghost don't I."

"Huh?"

"What you shouted the first time, you know, ghost? I really do look like one." He blinks at me and nods a bit.

"Yeah just a bit, but you are still really pretty!" That last comment made me choke on my own spit as I dragged myself away from him, leaving a long black line across his hand.

"Where did that come from!"

"Isn't that what girls like to hear?" I lash out and draw a long line on his cheek.

"Don't say it cause you think I just want to hear it! You have to mean it!" Pouting again I scooch away from him leaving him sputtering and flailing. "It's the same as lying." Sticking my tongue out at him I gathered up my supplies and shoved them back in my obi.

"H-hey wait!" looking up at him with a glare he gave me a serious look and grabs my hand. "I'm honest, you are pretty." Freezing I look between his hand and his face once again before I felt my face heat up very quickly.

"I-I GOTTA GO!" Yanking my hand away from him I stumbled away quickly. Walking away backward I wave him away trying to get out of there as quickly as I could. "I-I'll see you later m-maybe? I don't know! I just gotta-" tripping over a tree root I let out a loud yelp and dropped behind a bush.

"See you tomorrow Tomie-chan!" I could practically hear the smile in his voice as he said goodbye to me. I chose to stay behind the bush until I was sure he left. Sitting up I scratched the back of my head nervously and let out a sigh. You'd think being a grown woman in my previous life would prevent me from getting flustered at getting called *pretty* but here I am, blushing like a school girl at the first boy to really call me pretty. Shaking my head and slapping my cheeks I tried to brush it off as best as I could.

He just said that cause he thought girls like that, no other reason. Shooting up to stand I shake my head letting my bun fall apart but catching my mother's ribbon as it drifted towards the ground. "Calling me pretty and acting all nice and being a good person all around. WHAT AN ASSHOLE!" Stomping on the ground once I made my way back to the compound before pausing. "...did he say tomorrow?"

Plucking at one of the flowers I found around the garden I twirled around the stem in my hand before just tossing it in the pond in front of me. It was strange how peaceful it was in the compound when you thought about the battles going on outside the walls. Every day my father and brothers would go out and come back injured but paid.

Picking up a leaf I looked it over before sticking it to my forehead and focusing as hard as I could. Through my lessons with my tutor, I was told about chakra and all the different and mystical things shinobi could do with it. I was currently trying to master the mystical art of keeping a leaf stuck to my god damned forehead. It was supposedly something that helped you master chakra control at a young age and most people looking to get some chakra do that.

Sadly I seemed pretty trash at it as I had no idea how to even control my chakra in the first place. I had seen the healers who helped my father and brothers recover from their injuries using what I think was chakra, their hands glowed green so it had to be. When I asked them to teach me though, they refused. It was infuriating honestly. I just wanted to help my brothers, heal them when they were injured.

Twirling the leaf I looked up at the sky for a second. Hashirama was a shinobi if his stealth and movement were anything to go by maybe I could ask him for help. Nodding to myself I toss the leaf aside and stand up giving a good stretch. Yeah, I'll just ask Hashirama, it's not like I'm asking him to teach me all his secrets, just chakra control. It's no big deal. "It's no big deal!"

"That's no big deal?"

"Dicks!" Letting out a shout I tumbled forward into the pond sending the koi scattering away. Popping back up to the surface in a panic I looked around wildly before spotting Yoro standing over me attempting to contain his laughter.

"And who taught you that word?" Bending down and lifting me out of the pond he raised an amused eyebrow at my wet form.

"A-ah, uhhhh Goro did?"

"Of course he did, come on it's time to eat." Taking my hand we start silently towards the dining room. I fidgeted nervously looking at his face every once in a while before quickly looking back down at the ground.

"H-hey Yoro-nii?" Pausing slightly he glances down at me with a raised eyebrow but doesn't say anything. "D-do you think I'm, you know, pretty?" His face quickly turned into one of confusion as he crouched down to my height. I shifted nervously as he studied me longer before sighing.

"Did a boy tell you that?" Shaking my head I looked away.

"N-no, I was just wondering a…the only boys I really know are you guys." He stood up again and gave me a heavy pat on my head.

"You're pretty Tomie, don't worry about it." Nodding while keeping my eyes on the ground I grab Yoro's hand and we silently make our way to the kitchen to join my family for supper.

"Hey, Hashirama-kun?"

"Hm?"  
"Could you maybe perhaps kinda….teach me chakra control?" My voice wavered near the end and I pulled my hand away from his hair where I was sorting leaves and the stray branch from it. He turned to look at me, his usual smile gone and replaced with a tight line as his eyes studied me seriously. "I-I don't want to learn any big dangerous moves. I just want to know how to heal." Getting silent at the end I fiddled with the front of my kimono glancing up at him through my lashes.

He stared at me for a bit longer making me shift uncomfortably where I was sitting before leaning in. "You know that healing takes an amazing amount of chakra control."

"Y-yeah, but my brothers get injured a lot and I feel useless and if I could heal them maybe they would include me in more stuff. It's annoying being left out of everything." He listens intently keeping his steady gaze on me.

"You know that you can use general medical skills, like herbal remedies and other stuff?"

"Yeah but that doesn't work as quickly with chakra healing! You just make your hand glow and BAM wounds all healed!" Looking back up at him I spot his conflicted look and look down with a sad sigh. "I...I figured you were a ninja so you knew about chakra control. I know ninja don't like to share stuff like that but we are friends so I just thought…" Bringing my knees up to my chest I draw shapes in the loose dirt beneath me. "Y-you don't have to if you don't want to."

Looking to the side he gave a contemplative look before standing up straight and giving me a look. "Do you know any trainings? Any at all?"  
"W-well I know about the thing where you put a leaf on your forehead and focus and it sticks but I can't really get it to, you know, stick." Grabbing a leaf off the ground I placed it on my forehead letting it go watching as it drifted back to the ground. "I don't really get this whole chakra thing, isn't it supposed to be natural? Why can't I feel it?"

"You need to find your chakra before you use it. People naturally don't feel it so they can't really use it. Close your eyes and focus inward, if you have the ability you will find it." Blinking at him for a moment I nod and close my eyes trying to focus inward. Tapping my finger against my leg impatiently I sat there with my eyes closed I crossed my arm waiting for something.

I still had no idea what I was looking for or what I was supposed to feel. How was I meant to look inward when I didn't know what I was looking for. Chakra was energy so how did I think it would feel. Digging for some energy my face scrunched up in tension as I felt a small spark of something buried deep. It was like a small muted spark buried beneath a lot of mud. Digging at the mud I felt the spark get brighter and brighter before it was like I opened a floodgate. The mud vanished and a flood of green energy appeared and once everything settled it was like a pool. A very shallow pool but a pool none the less.

My eyes shot open and I looked at Hashirama with wide excited eyes. "I-I think I did it!" Clapping happily I looked at him for confirmation he gives me a smile and nods.

"Pretty good for someone who's never used chakra before. Now that you have better access to it you should be able to do the exercise." Practically vibrating I lean forward and plant a kiss on Hashirama's cheek before standing up and brushing myself off.

"Thanks, Hashi-kun! I gotta go before people start wondering where I am! Bye!" Giving a quick wave I started my run back to my compound. Leaving Hashirama sitting there blushing.

Goromie watched his sister pop out of the bushes from his hiding place with a sigh. He knew about her little excursions for a while, constantly vanishing then appearing in the courtyard a little bit later out of the same bush every time. She was completely oblivious to him following her as she ran out of the safety of the compound to frolic doing who knows what in the forest.

It was kind of annoying, she had no ideas about the dangers of going outside the walls. She didn't know the constant fights her family went through to keep things for the whole clan safe. To keep the Senju and Uchiha and their stupid worthless war away from them all. He couldn't completely blame her, father didn't want her to know. He wanted to keep her safe and protected in the compound and instead, she gallivanted off behind his back to do god knows what in the woods. He knew that father saw too much of mother in her and sometimes when Goro looked at her that was all he could see.

Crossing his arms he glared at her as she finished pulling the leaves from her hair and skipped off towards the house. He wouldn't tell father yet, first, he wanted to see what she was doing out there. There weren't any towns around here so there couldn't be too much interesting out there. So she had to have found something to spend a lot of time on.

Letting out a sigh Goro straightened out and stealthed back into his room. Maybe he needed to get her more art supplies. Next time he goes out he'll see if he can find anything that'd keep her occupied enough to keep her on the compound. Looking up at his father who was sitting peacefully in the middle of his room he shook his head. "She's just messing around in some hidden places in the courtyard." His father nodded before standing up.

"Very well. Keep an eye on her. I do not like her disappearances, people are asking questions." Nodding Goro sat down on the ground as his father passed by listening to the door open. "Protect her Goro, she's all we have left of your mother." Goro felt his heart drop as the door closed.

He wanted to protect Tomie, no matter what. But how the hell was he supposed to protect her from her own dumb choices?

Today was a bit off for some reason, the whole compound was full of whispering and a strange buzzing energy. The servants were being extra antsy and were desperately cleaning everything. That everything also included me. "Tomie-sama! Get back here, I have to make you look presentable!" Booking it down the hallway I could feel Karamie-chan on my heels. She had been my personal handmaid for a long while, assigned by my father recently to keep me from going completely off the rails. She spent most her time letting me do what I want but she was on my ass like a hawk the moment she sees me messing with chakra or my kimono has the smallest smudge of dirt.

Today though, she was merciless. Letting out a yelp as she grabbed the back of my Kimono I felt myself be dragged back to my room and towards my doom. "But why? I don't get what's going on." Kicking my legs weakly I gave up and let her drag me back into the bedroom. With surprising strength, she heaved me in front of a mirror and started pulling out my more fancy kimonos. Grabbing a stark white one she quickly got me wrapped up in the many layers.

"We have a guest clan coming, we've always had good relations with them we wish to better that relationship by holding a ceremony with their head family. We don't want to be like the Uchiha and Senju." I sat nodding along as she pinned up my hair into an elaborate bun. "Your father and the council has some news to announce once the banquet has started." Finishing with my hair she patted my shoulders with a happy giggle.

"Another clan huh? I wish father didn't leave me so out of the loop." Shifting a bit I looked at the elaborate outfit I was now strapped into. "What's the clan's name?"

"The Karagi clan. It's not the most powerful clan there is but it's good to have a few allies in this war-torn world. Now come on my lady, your father wants all of you at the gates to greet our guests." Helping me stand up under the many layers of cloth she guided me out of the house and down the streets.

At this point, I realized everything was decorated. There were lanterns strewn about the main street and everything was neat and organized to make it look the best that they could. It was odd, everyone seemed high strung, wearing the best clothes they got and twitching around everywhere. Everyone had a nervous look in their eyes which practically affected the air around them.

Shaking my head I spotted my brothers standing by my father's side looking very disgruntled. "Did the maids get you too?" I stood next to Goro and looked up at his face with a coy smile.

"Yup, they are relentless aren't they." Squeezing up next to him I eyed the door nervously and dropped my voice a bit "When are they going to come?" The small hand of Kamie slipped into my own and I gave it a light squeeze. Glancing down at her I saw her all prettied up and practically swallowed her in the many layers. She looks up at me with sad eyes and quickly wraps her arms around my skirt, burying her face in the fabric.

He shrugs and drops his voice too "Not sure, they should be arriving at any moment now." I nod and turn to look at the large doors at the entrance of the compound. I wonder if they'd look like Hashirama, currently, he was my only viewpoint on what outsiders looked like. Jumping as the doors started to open I straightened my back and looked forward. As the doors fully opened I locked eyes with an orange haired boy and blinked in surprise.


End file.
